Of Fairytale weddings & bloopers………

When Fat Dragon and I were on the way to a Chinese wedding dinner last Saturday…I said, “You know, I never craved to wear a bridal gown, never yearned for a fairytale wedding…..am I weird?”. He answered, “No, just ECCENTRIC.” Ahahahahahh – Well…that makes two of us, Fat Dragon!

I never regretted our decision 15 years ago for a very simple civil wedding with lunch after for family & very close friends only in KL. We had a 3 table dinner for Fat Dragon’s family at a later date in Seremban. The highlight was our Langkawi-Penang-Cameron Highlands honeymoon.  Simplicity was the order of the day.

The dinner last weekend was a textbook case of why we preferred a more personal affair…….…….

1. “Strangers in the night, exchanging glances….” the tune kept ringing out in our heads and should have been made the theme song for the newly weds that night during the dinner. Out of the 50 tables of guests consisting of family and friends, its not hard to guess that they were mostly the mum & dad’s friends. Most people there were elderly people. (Heard that even the school bus driver & wine seller was invited. Hmmph…wonder if the wine seller was there to sample the fruits of his labour for free…coz he sure was piss drunk later – as in TKO – he had to be lifted to his car…..). 

2. The “Dad” was so excited that he started making his private rounds from the beginning. Oooh…bad mistake. Now what happens when ”Dad” is too tipsy to accompany the dearly beloved kids for the Yam Seng session? ……Well,  time to tune in to “Strangers in the night, …..” again, folks.

3. If you can afford a 50 table dinner in a community hall, you darn well make sure you can afford a wedding coordinator too. DIY is for civil weddings, not mammoth affairs like these, full stop. In this case, DIY ruled. Tables were not numbered. People just sat wherever they liked…Peer groups were split. Stragglers had to hunt for empty slots here and there. Guests probably did not RSVP too, quite a number brought children – causing guest overruns……..sigh…. mini disaster in the making. 

4. If you have a 50 table dinner, for goodness sake get a Best Man who can drink like a fish to represent you. Don’t be a HERO! Heck…..you wanna risk having alcohol poisoning by the end of the Yam Seng session? You want your wedding night ruined? Well…..  the Groom was a pretty sight at the end of the night – tomato red, and holding an ice pack over his forehead! He seemed to have spilled water on his coat so yours truly graciously asked him to take it off and offered to hold on to it for him. I found out later that it was wet with “Dad”’s PUKE …….. YIKES! Double Yikes. Thank goodness for the absence of solid matter. Maybe it was just all alcohol. Wishful thinking. 

5. DON’T even ask how the wedding night for the lovebirds went.      

6. Bands are always welcome but please make sure it comes with a professional singer. Ban Teresa Teng and Lui Fong wannabes. Why? Oh! Why is it that people always find extra courage to go up and sing during occasions like that…..sigh??!!! Be ready to choke on your sharksfin soup when a 50 year ol’ crooner whose hair shines like an oil slick, belts out ‘Yi Duo Hua” for your listening pleasure! …..(Hey you guys take requests???…. – I want “Strangers in the night…………”)

Talk about fairy tale gone bad, whether the couple was filled with wedded bliss that night is a million dollar question but hey…….who’s complaining….there’s always TOMORROW yah?

Just an after thought, wonder if ‘Groom’ & ‘Bride’ will be game to relive this experience 20 to 30 years down the road when THEIR children get married….. Wouldn’t be surprised if the answer is YeS!  Hey – Payback time! Do unto your children, what was done unto you! 🙂

p.s. Hey, gonna be a Best Man anytime soon? The latest tip we heard on how to prevent yourself from getting drunk (too quickly) is to eat loads of chocolate and drink loads of milk. Apparently it helps coat your stomach and slows down the absorption of alcohol into your bloodstream. Disclaimer: Although the someone we know swears it works but….do stay away from any Groom’s coat, just in case!


3 responses to “Of Fairytale weddings & bloopers………

  1. Lots of people dream of a prefect wedding ceremony but few have any inklings on how to go about it. Meddlesome relatives would prove to be the main undoing of most.

    I guess it is best to keep it simple unless you have the experience or expertise to pull it off.

    This means that there is a very bright future for really good wedding organiser. Not those “Pat Poh Tai Kam Chye” types.

  2. Yeah.. I can imagine that… I’ve been to a few especially those in smaller kampongs.. where everyone got intoxicated by 3 pm… coz it’s wedding lunch. I can never understand what’s the fuss of having a wedding reception.. but it sure earns a lot of money… my bro made RM8k nett from his wedding. Hahahahah!

  3. ky: Wah good for your bro…..yeah…getting married is a real money churner….a friend of ours was counting money with the hubby up till sun up during the ‘wedding night’…..$$$$….

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