…. of pigtails & aphrodisiacs….!!!!!

We were breaking plates…. We were guzzling German Weisen beer (dark wheat beer)……We were sucking gravy laced fingers & slobbering away – Our motto for the night “Bring on the cholesterol!”…

…Definitely not a typical Wednesday night but what the heck, we were having a ball of a time celebrating the homecoming of Pink Jeans & ML who are back for their summer hols at El Cerdo’s situated along the very hip Changkat Bukit Bintang. It was a night to EAT, DRINK and be VERY MERRY for Doug, Mich, Yit, VM, ML, Pink Jeans, DS, FD & I ….. 

No prizes for guessing what was for dinner. PIG of course….or PIGLET to be exact. Well, we all sobered up as required by decorum, when the hostess offered to tell us the story of our little friend who was lying inate on a wooden platter, all browned & roasted into a crispy delicacy … waiting to be devoured. You see, as introductions went by, we found out our little cooked friend was a German. It was only three weeks old. It had its body bathed in a white wine marinate for 3 days before it was thrown into a ‘roaring spit’ so to say……… (Please don’t be fooled – not one Roaring Fortier batted an eyelid upon hearing the narrative – Pink Jeans  commented, “I’d eat it even if it had a name” – “Aye! Aye! PJ”. We meat eaters should just be upfront about it. No room for hypocrisy here)……. And so it goes, that the crispy, juicy  carcass was to be chopped into small pieces with plates by the guys…. Yup, you read right, you get to chop it up yourself with a plate, not a knife. You even get to break it into a wooden bucket, with a noisy clang -for GOOD LUCK apparently. Wasteful you say? Oh heck – break away – you’re paying for it)  …….. The finale entails our little roasted buddy being  eaten from “nose to tail” as the restaurant’s tag line suggests… Ah, bliss!!! (Apologies to vegetarians if this sounds offensive)

Needless to say, gluttony ruled that night & the nose to tail experience was so good, we ordered a second piglet for the night. (Sigh…gotta exercise harder the next day… oh but that’s another day)………….

Now, whilst the two piggies were being gobbled up, the usual jostling & fighting for choice pieces came about until we reached the “apple stalk of a thing” with a curl at the end resting on the laurels of our roasted piggy……..i.e. the tail –  “You eat it”, “No You eat it”…. DS ended up eating the first pig tail and then when the 2nd pig tail was up for grabs, the guys suggested “Why don’t one of the girls eat it……” ….. Now the hostess could not help overhearing and decided that some intervention was required. “NO!! GIRLS CANNOT EAT IT”. “Do you know what happens if you eat the tail?” …..which prompted a quick “NO”  from all of us. “TELL US!”. “Shan’t tell you guys until you decide who’s going to eat the 2nd tail”……. “Aw come on …” … and then it was decided ….. “VM – YOU eat the 2nd tail!” …

Then she lays it on us….. (looking at VM & DS)….. “The PIG tail is going to make the guys strong tonight!” which produced an all round “Whoa!!!”  from everyone …. curious eyes darting back & forth between DS & VM. Pressure Pressure. Well, the pig’s tail is apparently an aphrodisiac.

First I’ve heard of really!

According to Wikipedia,

“An aphrodisiac is an agent which is used in the belief that it increases sexual desire. The name comes from Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of sensuality. Throughout history, many foods, drinks, and behaviors have had a reputation for making sex more attainable and/or pleasurable”

I’ve heard of animal based aphrodisiacs like tigers’ penises & rhinoceros’ horns  but pig’s tail is new to me. Now male libido is clearly linked to the levels of testosterone right? So it is alleged that you can elevate it by eating parts of male animal anatomies. As for the pig’s tail? What if the tail came from a female? Wouldn’t that boost your estrogen levels? Now would that still give men the desired effect … anyway, awaiting feedback from VM & DS. Who knows, if the tail came from a female piggie it may even boost your alternative sexual desires!!!!! Food for thought.

YUM SENG EVERYONE! … eh heh heh heh …..

 P.S. Welcome back Pink Jeans & fly, ML & fly.

P.P.S. To the rest of the party – Viva la Good Food, Good Drinks & last but not least Good Company!

P.P.P.S. Viva la Non Halal Restaurants the ultimate EAT, DRINK & BE MERRY experience. In case you’re interested in going to El Cerdo, the address is No. 43 – 45, Changkat Bukit Bintang.  For a quick guide on where Changkat BB is, refer to this map, courtesy of Radius Hotel. El Cerdo is not far from the hotel.

The size of your feet tells all…

It all started with a joke between Cyclist, Fat Dragon, Short Stuff & myself. Cyclist was telling us about his theory regarding the size of a man’s foot being in corelation to the size of a man’s peeing organ & his sexual prowess. Well, I had the smallest feet in the group, but since I was the only person of the opposite gender in the group – all eyes suddenly dropped to Short Stuff’s feet!!!!! Poor guy ….. ahahahahaah!!! Given his silence, we are resigned to the fact that he was not willing to prove or disprove the theory … so we’re all left wondering, still …

This brings to mind a couple of associations between certain physical attributes & a person’s capabilities, character or destiny….. Fact or Myth, I really don’t know but these are just old wives tales which I have heard and compiled in passing  🙂

Big Long Meaty Ear Lobes  – This is quite an age old theory and is supposed to signify longevity. I have met quite a number of geriatrics who have long hanging ear lobes – so yeah, maybe its true after all. Take a look at Dr. M’s ear lobes. I’d say they’re pretty long & he’s an octogenarian.

Big nose (meaty but must not have big nostrils) – Sign of prosperity. Sure to be good at making money. Well, a friend of mine has this really huge nose, supposedly to be in the proportions of a wealthy businessman. Well he never fails to remind me that he has not given up & is still waiting for this ‘prophecy’ to come true. [Ahahahaha. I hate to break this to you, THS – but have you ever considered the fact that your nose is not so big after all if you talk about proportions? After all, your face is BIG too.] 

Big Nostrils – Very spendthrift & not good at saving money. This is based on the fact that if these two orifices are too big, then of course, money flows out of that big nose of yours. AHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!~! Oh well, perhaps I’m a walking testimony of this physical attribute. Big Nostrils I have and big savings, I don’t have. (We went trekking to a waterfall with a big group once. One of our friend’s daughters, when she was about 7 years of age stood in front of me. She suddenly looked up & asked me seriously…’Auntie, why your NOSE so big one’…I felt like answering “ALL THE BETTER TO SMELL YOU WITH” ala the big bad wolf. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a chance coz the mom,  absolutely shocked & embarassed, quickly reprimanded the kid. But hey… I understand perfectly. From her angle down under, perhaps my NOSTRILS looked huge & cavernous) Poor kid 🙂

Curly Haired Men – I’m afraid this physical attribute is a bit discriminatory as it applies to Chinese men only. Given it is norm for Orientals to have straight  hair, apparently curly haired Oriental men are great philanderers. Anybody knows if that famous ancient Chinese character Wai Siew Poh (the one with the seven wives) had curly hair?

Dimpled Cheeked Women – Ahhh! They say that women with dimpled cheeks can drink like fish & hold their alcohol real well. I really don’t know many women with dimples but the ones that I know of, look real cute but don’t drink all that well. All I can say is its easier to tell with men .. don’t need to look out for dimples. Just look out for the beer belly!!!!

Short Statured Men have big egos – Well, historically proven. Look at Hitler and Bonaparte. Powerful, conquering men with ‘miniature’ statures in comparison. Influential but dangerous men. Could it be their physical shortcomings drove them to overcompensate by fighting for power, authority & control?  

Thin lips – Apparently, people with thin narrow lips are very cold and frigid. I suppose this is true in terms of perception. Thick lips tend to project sensuality, sultriness etc, thus thin lips project the opposite image. Hey, why else would botox be doing so well, if not for the demand for Angelina Jolie lips eh?

Well, it is all very interesting be it true or not, but I would end with a word of caution to all …. BEWARE of people with faint or no eyebrows. Somehow, the people with this physical attribute (or should I say, lack of it) that we have crossed paths with in our lives … seemed to be weak minded, manipulative & lacking in integrity …… But then again, that’s just my opinion :-p

No end to Hollywood cliches!

The Free Online Dictionary defines cliche as :

“A cliché (from French, klɪ’ʃe) is a phrase, expression, or idea that has been overused to the point of losing its intended force or novelty, especially when at some time it was considered distinctively forceful or novel. The term is generally used in a negative context.”

The operative word here being ‘overused’ & Hollywood is good at it!

It sucks to go to the movies these days. Ever since Iron Man came into the circuit 2 months ago, Malaysian movie goers have been hit with one superhero movie after another!  There is the Incredible Hulk, Wanted, Hancock, Hellboy 2 ………….. We are completely inundated – I mean it was fun at the beginning but then we’ve seen one too many unassuming fellows, millionaires & even drunkards turning into buffed up superhero types. Why is Hollywood so cliched? It’s like flogging a dead horse I say. Please GIVE US A BREAK!

It doesn’t just happen with movie themes. Let’s take the film stars or should I say the babies of film stars for example. When one starts having a baby, suddenly everyone’s having babies. It’s suddenly fashionable to show baby bumps, to wear designer maternity evening gowns down the red carpet etc with the likes of Angelina Jolie, Christina Aguilera, Nicole Ritchie, Cate Blanchett, Jessica Alba etc. (Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against pregnancy or babies but it is the overpublicity and hype that goes with it now. 10 years ago when movie stars became pregnant, they avoided cameras, much less strut down the red carpet … hardly any designer would be interested in dressing them then – but that was the cliche back then).

It is also suddenly fashionable to be adopting babies i.e. Angelina (AGAIN) , Madonna, Nicole Kidman (although she professes to be Aussie – but lets face it Nicole, Hollywood made you) . Hey, we’re not even talking about adopting American babies, we are taking it one humanitarian step further! They adopt Vietnamese children, African, Cambodian children etc. Well, good for the kids really but then how cliched it all is. I sincerely hope that these are genuine moves and not  publicity stunts. Are these children going to actually get the sincere love and attention of these glamourous stars or are they just going to be part time children – raised mainly by expensive nurses & nannies. You tell me.

Talking about cliches, reality shows top the list. It all started with ‘Survivor’, and then you have all the other shows ‘The Amazing Race’, ‘The Apprentice – Donald Trump’, ‘The Apprentice – Martha Stewart’, ‘Project Runway’, ‘America’s Top Model, “Bachelor’, ‘Bachelorette’, ‘The Contender’, ‘Hell’s Kitchen’, ‘Restaurant Makeover’, ‘Trading spaces’, ‘While You Were Out’ (The list is endless) …. And then the reality shows took it a step further by tying in with phone companies to sweeten the deal further – so you end up with shows like  ‘American Idol’, ‘So You Think You Can Dance’, ‘Dancing with the Stars’ & god knows how many more which sizzled out early….

It’s all fine at the beginning to see all these contestants or reality show participants fight it out for the million dollar contracts or prize money or dream job, from surviving the jungle to boxing to modeling to cooking – you name it …..(umm, wonder if there are any reality shows for porn – oh dear…don’t tell me – I don’t wanna know!!!!!).

In short, you get hit with one series after another. You wonder ……. have they run out of fresh ideas???? The original brainchild behind this idea struck gold really. It not only boosted network ratings, it was lucrative too from the merchandising and advertising point of view especially shows like Project Runway & The Apprentice. Don’t we just love the back biting, back stabbing, the politicking etc of it?  Now the wonderful thing is, based on the ratings, it is evident that some of these shows have been highly successful – so in essence, we love seeing people scratch & claw their way to success.

Then you begin to wonder……Is society too becoming cliched? Yikes, God help us!

Give us something new before we turn into walking cliches!

P.S. Check out this link for more Hollywood cliches related to Movie Plots….. Good one!

P.P.S. I have another Hollywood cliche to add to the link above … there is almost always a token Asian role created nowadays & most times they are either the supporting roles or the baddie roles …. sigh!